Ramblings

Wow.
It's been a long time since I've used this blog. You know when you start something and you say, 'I'm going to be really disciplined at this, etc.' well that's how I started out with this blog thingy. I wanted to be consistent, work on my journaling skills, massage my right brain inactivity... but life happened.

What's new. Well, it's almost spring again in Crimea, the kids I work with are all going through puberty, the house is almost completed, and I am generally exhausted.

Today we talked about how the Bible is packed full of prophecies. We read in Daniel where the angel told him in a vision about how Ptolemy and Seleucus (Alexander the Great's Generals) would take over Egypt (the South) and Syria (the North). The angel went into detail about how down the road there would be a daughter of one King who tries to unite with the other king and then she is betrayed, etc. It was like reading a soap opera.
I was thinking to myself how odd that the angel would be sharing this particular love triangle problem with Daniel (who is living hundreds of years before this event will even take place). Poor Daniel.
Then I was thinking about how cool it is that we, the ones sitting pretty in 2010, can know all about this love triangle/murder in history with a little bit of study. What was recorded so many years before, actually happened. It's real 'History Channel' history.
Could you imagine what knowing the future would be like? Scary.

I woke myself up the other night by breathing. Yep, breathing. I took this really deep- long breath as though I had been holding my breath while sleeping for the past hour. It was weird.
I have a stiff neck and back too these days. It makes me feel really old. It makes me think of how short our lives can be. We don't know when life will be snuffed out.

I was also thinking the other day about all the 'clouds of witnesses'. Shannon envisions them cheering us on and even, possibly praying for us to do good. Another friend thinks they can only see Christ in us when they look at us. It's a bit intimidating to me. Although that may be true, I can see me, when I look at myself. And that's the problem. I would like to block out the bad parts of me too like the cloud of witnesses, but I can't. I'm stuck with the imperfect me.
I know how hard I have or have not worked.
I know what I could or should do.
I know what I have done or thought.

I guess that's why Jesus died. We rest on his perfection and drag our stupid imperfection around with us until He returns.

Making your life count and having a relationship with the Divine Creator of the Universe only gets harder with age and time. I have been walking as a Believer for almost 25 years now and it only gets harder. That really stinks. It should get easier. Like playing ping pong or cooking. The more time you spend practicing the easier it gets. But it's not like that.

So, I'll go on with my aches and pains and trust that God knows my future. And even if it's scary and filled with drama and betrayal (which I'm sure it does not, I just added that for effect) that I can rest in Him to see it through.
It probably has nothing to do with drama and more to do with simple daily obedience. My life is probably one of those that God has down to be in the multitude of witnesses and servants that helps to move His mighty plan along. Like an ant that joins 50 other ants to help move a huge piece of bread from a picnic. I'm not a socialist, I just think sometimes we want to be grand here on earth, when really God just wants us to be faithful in each decision and each step. I need to work on being content in the small things.

In the meantime, I'm sure glad someone invented muscle rub.